A Childish Crush
by Commodore Puddles
Summary: Rhiane is a young bar maid, who has had her eye on a certain young knight ever since she was a child. When a whirlwind of confusing events happen will it turn her heart or will her knight in shining armor sweep her off her feet. PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Innocent

Chapter 1: Innocent

"Rhiane, would you take the ale out to the boys?" Vanora asked, a crying baby on her hip.

"Of course," Rhiane instinctively grabbed seven mugs and set them on a silver tray. She quickly counted the knights sitting at the small table her eyes finally resting on one them. She watched him throw back his head and laugh.

"Why are you counting them? It's not as if one of them grew an extra head," Vanora gazed at her with an analyzing stare. "You're not staring at _him_ again are you?" She sighed, "Rhiane, just go and talk to him."

Rhiane's cheeks turned pink. "I just wanted to make sure they were all there. You never know, one of them could have been killed. It's happened before."

"Were you seeing that they were all there or were you just making sure _he_ was there?" Vanora raised her eyebrows.

"Both," Rhiane busied herself with filling the mugs with ale. She had always watched him from afar, too shy to get any closer than she dared, though she longed too. She could never manage to say more than a few rushed words to him before she fled from the room, her face red as the setting sun. A childish crush from the moment she had first laid eyes on him.

"You'll never know how he feels about you until you talk to him, or at least stay in the same room as him for more than five minutes," Vanora sighed.

"He barely knows I exist. I'm sure he doesn't even know my name. Even if he did, it wouldn't matter. I'd still be nothing more than a silly girl to him. Besides, I can't be in a room with him for more than five seconds without turning red, or dropping something."

"You don't know that. You're only a few years younger than he is. You shouldn't doubt yourself so much."

"Still, he could have any woman he chooses. Why would he ever choose me?"

"You kind, sweet, helpful, smart, and you're very pretty. If he doesn't choose you, he's dumber than he looks."

"Thank you, but I'm not that pretty." Rhiane sat the now full mugs back on the tray.

"Yes, you are. Some of the other girls would kill for your looks."

Rhiane quickly glanced at herself in a dusty, cracked mirror. She brushed some of her light brown hair from her freckled face, revealing big, amber eyes. She never considered herself pretty, yet she never thought she was ugly either.

"I'm not as pretty as you. You don't even look as if you've had eleven kids."

"Thank you, Rhiane. Now, take the ale out there before there's a riot," Vanora said, beaming at her.

Rhiane lifted the heavy tray and made her way towards the table. The knights were laughing at some joke when she arrived at their table. She placed a mug in front of Vanora's lover, Bors.

"It's about time," Bors said, taking a large gulp of his ale, before helping her pass out the other mugs. Bors and Vanora were very much like her, there was no other word for it, parents. After she had been orphaned and brought to Hadrian's Wall, Vanora and Bors had looked after her.

As she handed a mug to Dagonet, a big knight with a heart of gold, she felt herself being pulled back onto someone's lap.

"How are you, lovely?" she heard Lancelot's voice whisper in her ear.

"I wouldn't be trying to seduce Rhiane if were you, Lancelot," said Bors, grinning.

"Why's that?" Lancelot rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Because if Vanora catches you, she'll knick your head off," Dagonet stated.

Sure enough Vanora's angry voice filled the air, "Lancelot, unhand her now!"

"I don't know what you're accusing me of, Vanora!" Lancelot said innocently, pushing Rhiane into Galahad's vacant lap. Rhiane felt color rising in her face.

"You leave her be, Lancelot. She's not one of your whores," Vanora scolded, eyes flaring.

"She's sitting on Galahad's lap, not mine! Why aren't you yelling at him?" Lancelot gestured at Galahad, who's brow was furrowed at him accusingly.

"You put her there! It's not his fault you were preying on an innocent young woman!"

"I'm innocent, too!" Lancelot said, trying to keep an insulted tone.

"Innocent my ass," Gawain muttered. The knights laughed, but stopped with one glare from Vanora.

"What? Are you going to say that _Galahad_ is innocent?"

"He's more innocent than you will ever be!"

"He's not that innocent, believe me," Gawain said, grinning at Rhiane. Galahad shot a glare at him, but couldn't help smiling. She felt her heart flutter as he did so.

"Vanora, it's alright. I let him do it," Rhiane said, reluctantly getting up from Galahad's lap.

"Fine," Vanora shot Lancelot another glare before following Rhiane to the kitchen.

Vanora busied herself with the dishes, muttering angrily under her breath. Rhiane took that opportunity to return her attention to the knights. They had returned to their jokes and laughter as though it had never been interrupted. Lancelot's lap wasn't empty for long, for another tavern maid now occupied it. Rhiane watched Galahad with misty eyes. The ale was starting to have its effect on him. He was laughing at rather stupid things and becoming unsteady. He brushed some of his curls away from his glittering eyes. Rhiane sighed and smiled. Someday maybe he'd notice her. Notice her enough to hold more than a three second long conversation with her. Maybe someday he would feel the same way she felt about him...someday...


	2. Obvious

Chapter 2: Obvious

Rhiane was up at first light the next morning doing chores. She was washing clothes in a nearby pond when one of Vanora and Bors' children raced out to her.

"Rhiane! Hurry, they're leaving!" The child came to a stop in front of Rhiane.

"Who's leaving, little one?" Rhiane asked picking her up.

"Daddy and the knights," she said breathlessly.

"That's right! They're leaving on their final mission for Rome." How could she have forgotten?

She hurried up to the wall. The knights were mounted on their horses ready to depart. She spotted Galahad on his gray mare, and smiled to herself. After this mission, he would be a free man as would the rest of them. Bors would have more time to spend with Vanora and the children. Rhiane would see Galahad more than she used to.

The knights left and wouldn't return until well after midday. Rhiane twirled and glided around the kitchen as she helped Vanora cook.

"You're awfully happy today," Vanora laughed.

"The knights will be free men when they arrive," she said, smiling at Vanora.

"It's a shame most of them will return to Sarmatia," Vanora sighed heavily.

Rhiane stopped dead. Her heart started to sink. It was true. Most, if not all, of them would return to their homeland. Galahad had talked often about going home. If he left, she might never see him again. She _would_ never see him again!

Knights arrived with the Bishop's carriage safely following them. Vanora greeted Bors with a slap followed by a passionate kiss. Rhiane waited at the door that led to the round table with tray of wine-filled goblets. As each knight passed they took a goblet.

"Thanks, Rhiane," Bors said as he passed her.

"Hello, lovely." Lancelot's hand brushed her cheek as he passed. Rhiane glanced up at Galahad as he passed. Her cheeks turned slightly pink, and her grip on the tray became unsteady. He was laughing at something Gawain said, and said nothing to her as he took his goblet. Last to come was Tristan. He nodded to her and joined his fellow knights.

They all seemed in good spirits as they sat at the round table. Rhiane felt tears sting her eyes as she watched them. She'd miss them all, even the slightly obnoxious Lancelot. She walked back to the kitchens. Vanora wasn't there. Bors would most likely leave and take Vanora and their bastards with him. Then, she would be alone.

Rhiane walked out along the wall, the cool night breeze gently blowing her hair. Maybe she would tell Galahad how she felt. It wasn't like she'd see him again. She stared up into the starry sky.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a calm voice said from nearby. Rhiane jumped and noticed Tristan standing just a few feet away from her, staring up at the stars.

"Why are you out here, Tristan? Why aren't you…"

"With the rest of the knights? There's more to life than ale and women," he smiled at her. Rhiane quickly made a note to herself to tell him before he left that he has a beautiful smile and he should smile more often. He returned his gaze to the sky, "I come out here to think."

"About what?" she asked before she could stop herself.

He shrugged, "It depends." He took out an apple and a knife and started slicing the apple.

There was a brief silence before Tristan spoke again. "Are you going to tell him?" Rhiane stared at him, and he stared back. "Or, are you going to let yourself suffer?"

"What?" she managed to finally whisper.

"Are you going to tell Galahad that you're in love with him?" he restated.

Rhiane's heart stopped. How could he possibly know?

"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied, avoiding his eyes.

"Yes, you do. Don't lie," he said, his dark eyes seeing right through the horrible attempt.

"I- I-," she couldn't think of anything to say. Lying was almost useless around Tristan. He'd just see through it. Rhiane often believed he could read minds, or was she just really obvious? Probably both theories were correct.

Tristan stood there, patiently waiting for her to say something that made some amount of sense. He always knew things. It was kind of scary and annoying. Could he hear her frantic thoughts right now? If only she could invent something to say to throw him off, but this was Tristan she was dealing with. Throwing this man off along with lying to him was next to impossible.

"Rhiane?"

"How did you know?" she finally gave in.

"It's rather obvious," he said casually.

"How obvious?" she asked nervously.

"Incredibly." He started to walk down towards the wall and motioned for her to follow.

"Am I just obvious altogether?" If Tristan knew, who else knew? Did Galahad? Then again, Tristan always noticed things the other knights didn't.

"Yes," he answered, smirking at her.

"Great," she sighed. So much for anything being a secret in the future.

Tristan laughed, "Don't worry, your secret is pretty much safe."

"Pretty much?"

"Well, Galahad doesn't know, but there's a lot Galahad doesn't know."

She couldn't help but laugh, "Not everyone can be you, Tristan." He scoffed at the comment and continued his way down towards the wall. Rhiane stopped for a moment to think.

"Tristan, you won't tell him, will you?" she asked, her voice uncertain and slightly frightened.  
"I won't tell him…"

"Thank God," she sighed in relief. At least there was one reliable man on this island.

"You're going to tell him," he said. The way he talked sounded more as if he were simply stating the weather rather than her feelings and what she was going to do about them.

"What?" she hadn't really planned on doing that, but Tristan made it sound like an order rather than a question or an option.

"It's not good to keep strong emotions like this inside, Rhiane," he said, turning to face her.

"How would you-"

"Look, Rhiane, make it easier on yourself and tell him."

"I-I-" she stammered.

"Promise me you'll tell him." It was another command.

"Only if you promise not to tell anyone. On your honor."

"On my honor," he smiled, "and now on your honor…"

"On my honor," she said uncertainly. Did tavern maids have any honor? It didn't seem a tavern maid would have as much honor as a knight.

"We have an accord," he said, shaking her hand.

"Tristan, why do you care so much if I tell Galahad?"

"Just keep to your word," he responded, his face darkening.

"Why do you care?" She should know better than to question Tristan, but she was curious. It was unlike him to care about what went on in other peoples' lives.

"You better get back to the tavern," he said, carefully avoiding her question. Rhiane turned her back on him and started towards the tavern, her mind reeling.


	3. Nothing More Than a Memory

Chapter 3: Nothing More Than A Memory

The tavern was full of drunken Roman soldiers. Vanora was bustling from table to table administering more ale. Rhiane spotted all seven knights. Lancelot was gambling, Gawain throwing knives at a target, Galahad watching, a tavern girl on his knee, Dagonet leaning against the bar, Bors cradling his baby, and Tristan slicing an apple. How did Tristan make it back here before her? He never ceased to amaze her.

"There you are!" Vanora hurried towards her, "Where have you been?"

"Sorry, Vanora, I lost track of time."

"Here," she pushed a jug of wine into Rhiane's hands, "refill wine goblets."

Rhiane walked in between tables filling and refilling goblets. Men were bad enough sober, but men that were drunk were a whole other problem. She found herself slapping more Roman soldiers than she'd ever thought possible.

"I can't wait to get home," Gawain said to Galahad as she passed their table.

"I'll miss this company though," Galahad laughed as he kissed the girl on his knee.

Rhiane felt a white hot pang of jealously course through her. Yet, what had convinced her think that Galahad would ever choose her over one of the bar maids? Still, there was more to miss about this place than whores.

"I wish they would just give us our blasted papers," Gawain grumbled.

"I can't wait for the morning when I can wake up and realize this was all just a terrible memory," Galahad agreed.

Rhiane decided she had heard enough, and tried to hurry past the table only to have someone grab her arm. She whipped around and found herself gazing into a pair of glittering green eyes.

"Rhiane! Mind giving a refill?" Galahad asked happily. Well, at least he knew her name.

"Indeed, _my lord_, I do mind," she snapped, angrily ripping her arm out of his grip, "Fill it yourself!" She shoved the jug into his hands.

He appeared positively thunder-struck at her reaction, but she was too frustrated with everything to care. She stormed off to the other side of the tavern, and hid herself behind a pillar. She watched as Galahad continued to watch Gawain and drink out of the wine jug. After a while, Galahad stood up. He seemed to be searching the room for something. The girl that had been on his lap was now sitting on Gawain's. Whether Galahad was looking for Rhiane or other whore, Rhiane didn't care. Her eyes briefly locked with Tristan's from across the room. She quickly dropped her gaze unable to handle how piercing his was.

People started cheering for Vanora to sing. She tried to refuse, but Bors pushed her out into the center of the room. Her beautiful voice filled the air.

"_Land of bear and land of eagle,_

_Land that gave us birth and blessing."_

Silent tears fell down Rhiane's face. They would all be leaving...

"_Land that called us ever homewards,_

_We will go home across the mountains."_

She'd never see them again...

"_We will go home, we will go home,_

_We will go home across the mountains._

_We will go home singing our song."_

Everything that had happened, would be nothing more than memories...

"_Hear our singing, hear our longing,_

_We will go home across the mountains."_

Galahad would be nothing more than a memory...


	4. A Final Mission

**The beginning of this chapter is all from the movie and a bit boring so I apologize, but the end is original.**

Chapter 4: A Final Mission

"Arthur!" the knights greeted their commander cheerfully though he looked somber.

"You're not completely Roman yet, right?" Galahad asked as he strode over to him.

"Russ!" Bors shouted, joining the half-circle around Arthur.

"Knights, brother in arms," Arthur began gravely, "your courage has been tested beyond all limits." The knights nodded and muttered in agreement. "I must ask you now for one further trial."

"Drink," Bors said keenly. A murmur followed as the other knights laughed.

Arthur pressed on not paying any attention to the comment, "We must leave on a final mission for Rome, before our freedom can be granted." The knights laughed at this as though it were a joke, but Arthur looked quite serious.

"Above the wall, far in the north there is a Roman family in need of rescue. They're trapped by Saxons. Our orders our to secure their safety." The smiles that lit the knights faces suddenly faded.

"Let the Romans take care of their own," Bors said.

"Above the wall is Woad territory," Gawain said gravely.

"Our duty to Rome, if it was ever a duty, is done. Our pact with Rome is done." Galahad scowled at Arthur.

"Every knight here has laid his life on the line for you! For _you!_ And instead of freedom, you want more blood?! Our blood?! You think more of Roman blood than you do ours?!" Bors yelled.

"Bors, these are our orders! We leave at first light, and when we return your freedom will be waiting for you. A freedom we can embrace with honor." Arthur looked just as upset as his knights.

"I'm a free man! I will chose my own fate!" Bors raged on.

"Yeah, yeah. We're all going to die someday. If it's a death from a Saxon hand that frightens you, stay home," Tristan said, no emotion in his voice. It was almost if he had expected this to happen.

"Listen, if you're so eager to die, you can die right now!" Galahad yelled at Tristan.

"Enough. _Enough!_" Lancelot stood between Galahad and Tristan.

"I've got something to live for!" Galahad spat angrily.

"The Romans have broken their word. We have the word of Arthur. That is good enough. I'll prepare," Dagonet said calmly as he started to exit the tavern. "Bors, you coming?"

"Of course I'm coming!" Bors retorted, "Can't let you go on your own! You're all going to get killed!" He threw piercing glares at all of them, "I'm just saying what you're all thinking!" He shook his head as he walked out, "Vanora'll kill me."

Tristan and Rhiane's eyes met from across the room. She quickly averted her gaze, unable to take the intensity of his. When she glanced back up, he was gone.

Arthur gazed around at his remaining knights, "And you, Gawain?"

Gawain nodded after taking a drink. Galahad was shaking his head. "I'm with you. Galahad as well."

Galahad whipped around and glared at Gawain. He turned back to Arthur, laughed painfully, and smashed the wine jug. Then, he stormed out, muttering angrily to himself. Rhiane watched him leave from her hiding spot. She felt worse than she had before. The Romans had broken their word. Yet, they weren't leaving for home, but they were going on a mission that was by far the most dangerous mission they had ever been on. For all she knew Galahad would be killed. Then, she'd never be able to live with herself.

"It's now or never, love," a voice said in her ear. She whirled around to find Tristan standing behind her.

"Huh?" Her voice wavered with tears. What was happening to her? She hadn't cried in ages before tonight.

"Tell him now, or there might never be another chance."

"It's a childish crush, Tristan. Maybe I don't actually love him."

"Yes, you do. Don't lie to yourself," he said sternly.

"You said it hurts to keep emotions like that inside. Well, it hurts to be rejected too," she said quietly.

"He won't reject you," he stated as though she was being stupid.

"How do you know?" A tear fell and started to roll down her cheek. Tristan lifted his hand, hesitated, and then wiped it away. The touch gave her goosebumps.

"I just know," he said simply as he turned to leave.

"You always do," she whispered softly as she watched him disappear into the night.

Tristan was right. She had to tell him. If he died without her ever telling him, her secret would forever be a haunting regret. Rhiane took a deep breath. She knew what she had to do. Find Galahad and explain to him why she always drops things when he enters the room, blushes crimson whenever he's around, and why she becomes irritable whenever another girl is around him. This, was her final mission.

**Yes, that is where I'm ending the chapter. Muhahahaha! Will she tell him, or will she freeze up? If she does, how will he react? Stay tuned, kiddies! And Review!!!**


	5. Can't You See?

Chapter 5: Can't You See?

Rhiane found Galahad out a ways on the wall. He didn't seem to notice her presence. He just stood there, arms crossed, staring angrily out into the night. His dark curls ruffled in the evening breeze. Rhiane searched for the right words to say. Maybe she should wait for a time when he was not in such a foul mood. No, she had come too far to turn back. Besides, she might not get another chance, the knights were leaving at first light tomorrow for their suicide mission for Rome.

"It's a beautiful night is it not?" she said finally. With a slight jump, he quickly glanced back at her.

"If you say so," he sighed, "It's hard to think of anything on this wretched isle as beautiful."

"Not everything on this island is wretched," she said quietly, "Some things are quite beautiful when you give them a chance."

He didn't respond, making an awkward silence fall between them.

"I'm sorry," Rhiane said, breaking the silence, "for what the Romans did. You deserve freedom."

Galahad turned to face her, his gorgeous eyes meeting with hers. She was thankful it was dark out, because she was positive she was bright red.

"Don't be sorry," he said with a reassuring smile, "It's not as though you wished for us to be trapped here in this hell." Guilt swept through her.

"I sort of did." He gave her a quizzical look. "I didn't want any of you to leave. You're all like the family I never had."

"Vanora and Bors practically raised you."

"They're not the only ones I didn't want to leave," she whispered. Tears stung her eyes again.

"Rhiane?" A tear rolled down her cheek. Galahad gently wiped it away, the touch giving her chills.

"I'm sorry I was cross with you earlier."

"Don't be," he whispered.

"I was frustrated and…."

"I saw those Roman guards all over you. I understand why you… I tried to find you to apologize…" He dropped his gaze down to his feet.

"It wasn't the stupid guards that upset me!" Rhiane cried, "I was upset because you were with that tavern whore!"

Galahad appeared shocked by this. He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.

"Can't you see? I have always wanted to be the one on your knee, by your side, in your arms, in your bed! I've always wanted to be yours!"

"Rhiane,… I-I-" he stammered.

"Can't you see?" Her heart was pounding and her mind was racing. "Ever since I first saw you, I've always talked of you, thought of you, dreamt of you! I can't get you out of my mind! Everywhere I look your always there!" He stood there with a dumb struck look on his face.

"Can't you see?" she had kept her promise, "I love you, Galahad."

And without really thinking, without planning it, without any fear of rejection, Rhiane kissed him. After what seemed like hours, she pulled away. Rhiane never saw the expression on his face, because she turned on heel and ran into the night. He knew now, and that was all that mattered.

She didn't stop running until she reached her room. She closed the door and leaned her back up against it. She sighed as she slid down to the ground. She felt as though a great weight had been lifted off her chest, and that she was at peace with the world. She felt like collapsing on her bed, and going to sleep. Problem was, as she gazed over to her bed, she was startled to see that there was someone already there.


	6. Reasons

**I'm a little nervous about this chapter so please review, and give me your thoughts. I may go back and fix some things later. Huge thanx to those of you who have been reviewing. I Loooovve you! **

**Cheers,**

**Commodore Puddles**

Chapter 6: Reasons

"Tristan!" Rhiane breathed, staggering to her feet, "You scared me! What are you doing here?" Not only that, but she wondered how long he had been there waiting for her.

He smiled as he sat up, "Making sure you kept to your word."

"Well, I did," she said.

"I can see that," he said, eyes still on her.

"And you?"

"Haven't told a soul," Tristan answered, standing. At least she could trust him. She beamed at him.

"What did he say?" he asked curiously.

"I didn't stay to find out," she shrugged.

Tristan appeared shocked, "You don't want to know how he feels about you?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to know. I can only handle so many things at once." She almost didn't want to know. Tristan nodded, looking as though he was thinking hard on something.

"Well, could you tell anything by the expression on his face?" Tristan asked.

"As I said, I didn't stay to find out," she said shrugging, "After I kissed him, I-"

"You kissed him?" Tristan interrupted, his voice wavering a bit.

"Yes," Rhiane said, shocked at his reaction, "I didn't plan it. It just happened."

Tristan seemed to be undergoing some sort of emotional battle with himself. Rhiane couldn't help but feel concerned about the normally silent, expressionless knight.

"Tristan?" she gently put a hand on his arm. His eyes slowly met her own. "Are you alright? This isn't like you."

"What?" Even that simple word did not sound at all like Tristan.

"Well, I've never heard you ask so many questions, or become so involved in something."

"Right," he nodded as he brushed her hand off of his arm, "I take my leave." He opened the door to leave.

"Tristan, you never get involved with something without a reason."

"Reason has nothing to do with it. You're the one who made me promise to keep your secret." His back was to her. "You're the one who made a big deal out of nothing."

"Before that you were telling me how I should tell Galahad how I felt!" He did not respond to this, but remained silent. She sighed in frustration.

"Why do you care, Tristan?" she asked.

"About what?"

"If I told Galahad my feelings or not?"

"That is too strong of a feeling to keep inside, Rhiane. It hurts to keep a secret like that inside," his voice was shaking, "It can lead to heartbreak. You can't suffer like that, Rhiane. It's not good to suffer."

"Why do you care if I suffer, Tristan?" How would he know things like that? About love and suffering?

"Why do I care?" he repeated as though it was the stupidest question he had ever heard. "_Why do I care_?"

"Yes, Tristan, why do you care?" She stared hard at him. He finally turned around to face her. He appeared to be on the verge of laughing or crying.

"You want to know the reason why I care, Rhiane?" he asked moving closer. His face was once again unreadable.

"Yes, I want to know," she said.

"I care because I love you, Rhiane."

"What?" Rhiane wanted to laugh. This was a joke. Yet, why did Tristan look like he seriously meant what he just said?

"I love you," he repeated, a slight smile flickered across his face.

"Tristan, why-" she stamered.

"You ask to many questions," he said softly.

"Only because you don't give satisfying answers," she said.

Tristan laughed. A very rare event from him, but it was a lovely sound. He hesitated for a moment before swiftly leaning in, and pressing his lips gently to hers. A series of different emotions went sailing through her. Shock, confusion, happiness, guilt, love, sadness, pity, and bliss.

"I hope that's a satisfying enough answer of reason for you," he said, breaking away, eyes shinning.

Finally, Rhiane realized what it was that made them shine. It was an emotion that she never seen in him before. Love. It was because he loved her that he didn't want her to get hurt. She was doubtful, yet flattered at the same time. It was amazing that a man such as Tristan could feel that way about _her_ of all people. It was really sweet, but if he loved her so much, why was he trying so hard for her to be with Galahad?

"I still have questions," Rhiane laughed, letting her thumb trace the black tattoo on his cheek.

"To be answered on another day." He smiled as he took her hand from his face and kissed it. He turned to leave, but came to a sudden halt just outside the door and became incredibly tense.

Rhiane moved to the doorway to see what caused Tristan to tense. Her heart suddenly stopped and her breath caught in her chest. Galahad stood in the doorway, illuminated by the torchlight. His eyes narrowed as they traveled between her and Tristan. How long had he been standing there? Tristan had left the door open. He must have seen the kiss.

"Hello, Galahad," Tristan said mildly. His face back to being totally expressionless. Galahad scowled as he nodded in reply.

"I take my leave." Tristan nodded to them both before pushing past Galahad and disappearing down the hall.

Rhiane really wished he would have stayed. Galahad's eyes were flashing as he rounded on her.

"What the hell do you think your playing at?" he snapped at her.

"What?" She glanced fearfully up at him.

"I think I'm a free man, then I'm sent on a suicide mission. Then, _you_ come to me and say you love me, and here I come to find you snogging Tristan!" he shook with every word he said.

"Galahad, if you'd let me explain," she pleaded.

"I've expected lies from everyone else, but never from you!" He started to laugh painfully, "To think I actually believed you when you said you loved me."

"Galahad, I do! If you'd…"

"Yet, why do you continue to lie? Do you tell men this so they'll sleep with you?" he asked bitterly, "Is that what you told Tristan as well?"

"Isn't that what that whore said to you before she sat on your lap? That she loved you? Or were you just snogging her because you were desperate?"

Angry tears filled her eyes. She didn't want to fight with Galahad, but too late. She was already hurt by his words, so she fought back.

"Tell me, how many knights did you go to before me? Did you-"

"Oh, stop it!" she snapped, "If you'd stop being so misunderstood-"

"I'm not misunderstood!" he spat.

"Sure you aren't. You're a big boy now and you can take care of yourself," she hissed, "While you were paying some whore you could have me for free! Fact is, Galahad, I loved you! Whether you're willing to see it or not, I really did love you! For what reason? I no longer know. Now, good night, Galahad!"

She stepped into her room and slammed the door behind her. Then, she threw herself onto her bed and cried herself to sleep.


	7. Bitter Partings

Chapter 7: Bitter Partings

Rhiane woke up to the pale light of dawn drifting through her window. Her eyes felt dry as though she'd been crying. The events of last night came flooding back to her. She had hoped it had all been a terrible nightmare. She sat up and stretched. She'd go down and watch the knights depart. She wanted to talk to Tristan anyway. She found him in the stables sharpening his blade. He glanced up as she entered.

"Hello, Rhiane," he said as he returned his attention back to his sword.

"Tristan, about last night I-"

"Don't apologize," he sighed, "It was my fault. I got carried away."

"No, I brought you in the middle of this," she said, "I was the one who got carried away. I made a big deal out of a crush."

"I never should have gotten involved," his voice sounded bitter, "It was better that way."

"You said that love was too strong of an emotion to-"

"I said a lot of things, Rhiane," he said sternly, "I said too much."

There was a long awkward pause before Rhiane finally spoke, "Did you mean anything you said?" Tristan did not answer, yet Rhiane thought she knew what the answer was.

"Please answer, Tristan," she pleaded.

"I never wanted you to get hurt," he said standing up, "No one should ever suffer."

"Tell that to the Woads you've killed!" This was ridiculous! Why couldn't Tristan give her a simple answer? Why did he have to be so…. Tristan?

"I don't torture them." He faced her, eyes sharp and piercing. "Killing and torturing are different."

"Are they, Tristan?" she snapped, tears rapidly filling her eyes. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate the confusion he caused.

"You would know torture, Rhiane!" he hissed, stepping closer.

"What are you talking about?"

"The years I spent gazing at you from afar," he grabbed her shoulders, "seeing you, but knowing I couldn't ever have you. Seeing you torture yourself over young, naïve Galahad."

"You tortured yourself, Tristan!" She hit him in chest. It had very little effect. "You kept that secret inside! You told me that it wasn't good to keep things like that inside, but you did! I'm not worth that!"

"You're worth more than you know!" He gave an exasperated cry. "If Galahad can't see that then, he doesn't deserve you, or your love!"

"And you do?!" she asked.

"No!" he said harshly, "I never did!"

"Are you trying to renounce everything you said to me last night?"

"No!" He'd rather die.

"Then, who should I choose, Tristan? You or Galahad?"

"There is not a decision for you to make," he growled, "I am not an option."

"Oh, really," she said, "What if I were to choose you?"

"Don't be daft, Rhiane," he scolded as he released her.

"Why else would you would you say you loved me?"

"You asked, and I answered."

"You didn't have to. You love to complicate things."

"You don't know what you're accusing me of, Rhiane." His eyes penetrated into her own. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Your _always_ right, aren't you?! You always know everything and have all the answers. I don't know anything, and it's all because of you!" she cried, "You said you didn't want to hurt me. Well, it's too late for that because that's all you've done to me!"

Tristan stood there, eyes fixed on the ground. He was pale and appeared as though he had suddenly taken ill. Rhiane felt her anger and hatred vanish, and guilt and regret take their place.

"Tristan," she said apologetically. She never meant to say any of those things. She never meant to hurt him. She did care about the scout.

The door to the stables opened and Galahad walked through. He raised his eyebrows as he spotted them. His eyes narrowed at Rhiane.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to _interrupt_. I'm just getting my saddle," he said mildly as he crossed the room. He grabbed his saddle and stormed back out of the room.

Rhiane turned back to Tristan who's eyes were still focused downward.

"Tristan, I-" she started.

"Go to him," his voice shook.

"Tristan..." She reached out to him.

"Go to him," he repeated as he moved out of her reach. He gathered his effects and hurriedly left, not looking back at her.

Rhiane never went after him or Galahad. Instead she wandered aimlessly over the grounds, and collapsed by an old willow tree. She sighed miserably. What was happening? Everything went from bad to worse all because of a stupid childish crush. She never wanted to hurt Galahad or Tristan. She thought of what Tristan had said. She never would have guessed about his feelings. What made a great warrior such as Tristan love an emotionally challenged, childish tavern maid such as herself? Her thoughts were interrupted by the thundering of hooves. The knights were leaving. She watched them until they disappeared, and prayed to any god that would listen that she'd have the chance to apologize to Tristan and Galahad.

**Sorry about all the fighting, but there is a method to my madness. Try and put yourself in her situation. Wouldn't find Tristan's mysterious and confusing way a bit frustrating at times? Trust me. I have a vague idea of what I'm doing. Stay with with me, please!**


	8. Love

**Time for a Tristan chapter! What's going on in that sexy scout's mind? Wouldn't everyone like to know? Keep up the reviews! They brighten my day!  
**

Chapter 8: Love

Tristan rode ahead as he always did. He came to a river and stopped. A shriek cut through the air as his hawk flew down onto his arm. She gave him an inquiring stare as to why they've stopped.

"I'm sorry, I just had to stop and think," he told her. She was the one friend he could always count on. He dismounted and slumped to the ground, his head in his hands. His hawk fluttered down beside him, and rustled her wings impatiently.

"If only you knew what happened." To be honest he wasn't quite sure what had happened.

He glanced over at her. Her glare said everything. '_You got involved.'_

"I know," he moaned miserably, "She was right though. My own pain is self inflicted."

He hated the situation he had gotten himself into. Why her? Why Rhiane? The one woman he could never have. Why her? He started to answer his own questions. _Because you love her. _Why?_ Because in your life of war she gives you peace. _Why did I get involved? _I don't know. I don't know everything. I don't have all the answers. _Don't you though?

What was happening to him? He hated love, the emotion that made him feel, the one emotion that made him care. He hated how it affected him. He could no longer go about his business as usual. Now, he went out of his way for Rhiane. At first, he had hoped things would different. That Rhiane would possibly develop the same feelings for him.

One drunken night at the tavern, Galahad had confided in Tristan. He had been infatuated with Rhiane for a long time. He just didn't know how to talk to her. Tristan had already known about Rhiane's feelings toward Galahad, as did all the knights save for Galahad himself.

Tristan had spent a long time fighting his emotions, debating what to do. If Rhiane and Galahad ended up together, maybe his feelings for Rhiane would disappear. How wrong he was. If anything, the whole event only strengthened his feelings. He was angry at how childishly arrogant and ignorant Galahad was, angry at turmoil he _himself _had caused her, and he was angry with this constant, maddening, irrevocable pang in his heart called love!


	9. Growing Pains

**Ah, I knew I'd eventually get some ****criticism. To set somethings straight, I am not trying to put a wedge between Tristan and Galahad, I'm just creating a bit of tension, yet I know it's bordering too much tension. Like I asked, trust me. I promise everything WILL clear. And I'm not trying to make Rhiane (rhy-anne) fickle or anything of that nature. Keep in mind she is STILL in love with Galahad!!! Just Tristan is presenting a problem. Tristan is one people confide in/ he just knows things person therefore is kinda a link between Rhiane and Galahad. He has his reasons, OTHER than the reasons you already know. and him telling Rhiane how he feels is a kind of "I'm giving up cuz I can't keep it inside any longer" type of thing. By emotionally-challenged, how Rhiane describes herself, I mean, she's very emotional and her emotions are everywhere! (Much like myself) I get very confused by my emotions and I'm not afraid to admit it. I have my reasons for breaking up the chapters the way I do. I believe in the short sweet and to the point method. TRUST ME! I'll fix everything, but it's good to hear you're concerns. **

Chapter 9: Growing Pains

Everything had went from bad to worse. All in one night Galahad had managed to get his freedom, once again, taken from him, throw a childish tantrum, and destroy his chances with the one woman that had ever mattered to him. At the moment he could wish for nothing but death.

Her words still rang in his head. '_I've always wanted to be yours…. Can't you see?… I love you, Galahad!' _Then, she had kissed him! For a fleeting moment he was the happiest man in the world. It was too good to be true! One moment she was there in his arms, the next she wasn't.

He refused to believe he had imagined it. She was really there, she had to have been. Didn't she want to know how he felt? He had rushed to her room to confirm it wasn't a strange mind trick, but only to find her in the arms of Tristan. All happiness had faded into fury and pain. How could she do this to him?

_'Would you stop being so misunderstood?…You're a big boy now and you can take care of yourself…While you were paying some whore, you could've had me for free!…I loved you… For what reason?… I no longer know…"_

In less than an hour, how could love go to_ loved?_ She had hurt him more! Playing with his emotions like she did. He had only stated the truth. Sadly, as much as he wanted to hate Rhiane, he still loved her. He blamed Tristan. He couldn't look at Tristan without wanting to kill him.

"Are you alright?" Gawain appeared at his side.

"Fine," he replied bitterly.

"I'm not convinced," Gawain said sternly.

Tristan rode past. Galahad glared after him, silently wishing the horse would buck him off.

"Does this little mood you're in involve Tristan in any way?" Gawain asked.

"Why do you ask that?"

"You've been giving him death glares ever since we left Hadrian's Wall."

"No, I haven't," he snapped.

"How's Rhiane?" Gawain quickly attempted to change the subject. Mentioning Rhiane always put Galahad in good spirits.

"I don't know," Galahad said through gritted teeth.

Gawain was shocked, "Surely you've spoken to her?"

"Why would I care? She's nothing to me! She's nothing but a tavern whore, right?"

"What is wrong with you!? Jesus, Galahad! You're acting like a child!"

"That's all I am, right?! I'm nothing but a misunderstood child!"

Gawain had enough. "Fine, when you're ready to talk about it, we'll talk about it, alright?" Then, he rode ahead, leaving Galahad alone.

They stopped and made camp for the night. Darkness fell and the full moon lit the British country. Galahad sat alone by the campfire, staring angrily into the fiery embers.

Galahad had always been somewhat jealous of Tristan. Tristan was the best fighter, rider, and tracker out of all the knights. He was comfortable in his own skin and didn't change for anybody. Over all, Tristan was a mystery, even to the rest of the knights. He seemed to know everything, especially all that was unsaid. Women were naturally drawn to his mysterious enigma and lack of emotion. Then, there was himself, the youngest knight, still slightly clumsy in battle, couldn't track a squirrel even if it was two feet away, blissfully unaware of what occurred around him, stumbling through his adolescence, women still considered him a child, and he had more emotions coursing through him than he knew what to do with.

"Galahad?" a voice broke his trace.

He glanced up to find Tristan standing beside him.

"May I join you?" he asked.

Before he had a chance to attempt an answer, Tristan sat down beside him. Galahad avoided his piercing gaze.

"Look, pup, we need to talk."


	10. Understanding of Another

Chapter 10: Understanding of Another

"What do you wish to talk about Tristan?" Galahad asked coolly, "How I trusted you, then you-"

"Look, Pup, I want to -" he started.

"Don't call me Pup. You always call me Pup. I'm not a puppy, so stop treating me like I am one. Do you want me just to roll over and do a trick while you run off with Rhiane? Because I won't!" he stood as he continued ranting, "Just because you're the best at everything doesn't mean you can have everything! Stay away from Rhiane! I-I'll fight you! I-I-Why are you laughing?"

Tristan shook his head, laughing. Galahad glared at him and waited for him to stop. After a while, he did.

"Do you feel better?" Galahad snapped.

"Galahad, I didn't come to fight you. I-" Tristan attempted again only to be, once again, cut off.

"What, you don't consider me a threat? You think I don't stand a chance against you? You…" Galahad went back on another ranting spree. Tristan waited patiently for him run out of fire. When he finally did, he sat back down and was silent.

"Since you seem to be done, may I say something?"

Galahad nodded.

"Look, I came to apologize."

"Ha! I knew it!" He stood up again with new energy. "You think you can… What? Apologize?"

"Yes. This is never how I intended things to happen. I got caught up in everything, yet I don't take back anything I have said to you or Rhiane. I've only spoken the truth to you both." Tristan stood and met Galahad's eyes.

"You must have had some idea of what would happen." Galahad said coldly.

"No, actually I didn't."

Galahad scoffed at the statement. Tristan knew everything.

As if Tristan was listening to his doubtful thoughts, he said, "Believe it or not, Galahad, I don't know everything. I can only predict based off of what I know about those around me. I'm better off not interfering, and just keeping my distance. I have no regrets though."

There was a brief moment of silence before Galahad asked, "Do you care about Rhiane?"

"Yes, I do care about her. That's why she must be with you." He stated.

"That doesn't make any sense. If you-"

"There are many things in this world that don't make sense. The world is full of mysteries that we may never solve. It's seems humans can live with the unknown. We've made it this far haven't we?" He shook his head, seeing Galahad's lost expression. "Nevermind. Point is, Pu-Galahad, when we get back, find Rhiane and fix what I damaged."

"I still don't understand. After all this, you're just giving up?"

"I could never have Rhiane. It's complicated," Tristan muttered, "We understand each other, right?"

"I don't-"

Tristan sighed in frustration.

"It doesn't matter that you don't understand. You don't need to understand. All you need to worry about is surviving this mission, and getting back to Rhiane," he said sternly.

Galahad remained quiet and nodded.

"Now, get some rest, Pup, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Then, he left before Galahad could think to protest any further.

Galahad sat back down, and thought about what Tristan had said. There was no understanding Tristan. It was damn near impossible. He never made any sense. He always spoke in riddles. Riddles that Galahad could never solve. _'I do care about her. That's why she must be with you.'_ Usually, when a man cares about something, he just doesn't give up on it, does he? Then again, Tristan wasn't just any man, but still, it confused Galahad to no end. Tristan never needed to prove anything. Galahad was fighting to prove himself. It wasn't fair.

He didn't know if Rhiane would even consider taking him back. Tristan seemed to be sure of it, but after the fight they had…. Galahad couldn't be sure of anything any more. All he could do was hope that she would forgive him and that she was alright.

**I'm sorry that this chapter is so short and if it seems rushed, but inspiration was a bit hard for me to find for this. Besides, what I really want to get to is a little mrc! Grrr, it seems I have a little ways to go before I get to any of that. .:sigh:. I want Hugh Dancy. I can't wait to see him in Blood and Chocolate! He's lookin' sexy in that movie, then again he always looks sexy. Opps, sorry for the random tangent. REVIEW... please?**


	11. The Present

Chapter 11: The Present

The knights had been gone for almost two weeks, and Rhiane didn't know what to do with herself. She spent most days wandering aimlessly, bored to death. She no longer had any real concept of time. Days just seemed to blend together. Only the sound of approaching horses appeared to snap her out of her lifeless trance, sending her running towards the gates, searching for the returning knights, and then, only to have her disappointed. Life was so...empty without the knights there. There was a giant void in her life. Rhiane's silent suffering hadn't gone unnoticed though.

Rhiane woke up early in the morning as she did every morning, and made her way down to the kitchens. The sun had not yet risen. When she walked through the doors, Vanora greeted her excitedly.

"Happy Birthday, Rhiane!" she yelled as she threw her arms around Rhiane in a strong embrace.

"Birthday?" Rhiane echoed absently.

"My goodness, Rhiane, don't tell me you've forgotten your own birthday?!"

Rhiane couldn't believe it either. So, much had happened in the past month, that her birthday had been put far from her mind.

"I guess I did. Oh well, it's not that big of an occasion," she sighed.

"What has been wrong with you lately, Rhiane?" Vanora asked, "You haven't been yourself ever since the boys left."

"I miss them. That's all," Rhiane stated. It was part of the truth, but Vanora didn't settle for half of the truth.

"Alright, girl, you have five seconds to spit out what's been bothering you," she scolded, putting her hands on her hips.

Every thought and feeling that had been bottled up inside of Rhiane came pouring out onto Vanora. She listened, especially to the events concerning Galahad and Tristan. When she finally finished with her story, she collasped into a chair and put her head into her hands.

"Well, Rhiane, it would seem you have a choice to make. I hate to say it, I really do," Vanora said, gently rubbing her back.

"I don't think I can, Vanora. It might kill me," she moaned miserably.

"If I know Galahad like I think I do, then he'll forget his anger. When they get back, just pull him aside and talk to him. Explain to him what happened. As for Tristan, I don't know what to tell you. He's as hard to figure as they come."

"I know. Believe me, I know. It's not that I can't choose, it's just I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Everything will be alright," Vanora said, wrapping her arms around Rhiane and holding her.

"How do you know? How do you know something terrible won't happen?"

"You can call it womens' intuition. It's never wrong. You have it too."

"Never?" Rhiane wasn't so sure she believed that. "It has to be wrong sometimes. Otherwise mistakes wouldn't happen."

"Rhiane, everyone has their mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. If you ignore what's in here, then that's where the mistake begins," she pointed to Rhiane's heart.

"My heart can be a bit misleading," Rhiane muttered.

"You worry so much about others, you forget about yourself," she smiled and ruffled Rhiane's hair, "You're not working today. Go enjoy your special day. You only turn nineteen once."

-----

Rhiane sat on the wall and watched the sun come up in a halo of color. When she was little, she would watch the sun rise with Arthur. He was an earlier riser unlike the rest of the knights. She could remeber when she first saw all the knights. They ahd already been on the island for three years. Bors and Vanora had met, but did not have any children yet. She had been found just outside the wall by Roman soldiers. She couldn't remember anything of what had happened before then. All the Romans could assume is that she was an abandoned orphan. Vanora and Bors had taken her in and cared for her.

"Rhiane!" Vanora's voice broke her memory.

Rhiane turned to see Vanora running towards her.

"What's wrong?" Rhiane asked as she stood up.

"A package arrived for you. It's in the tavern. Follow me," Vanora said, leading her to the tavern.

"Who is it from?" Rhiane asked curiously.

"That's the problem. I don't know, Rhiane."

When they entered the tavern, Vanora retrieved the mysterious parcel, and handed it to Rhiane. It wasn't big. Rhiane gingerly unwrapped it, and pulled out a necklace. It was siver set with a blood-red ruby, shaped as a tear drop. Surrounding the jewel was a forgein engraving.

Rhiane laughed, "You were worried about someone giving me a necklace?"

"We don't know where it came from, Rhiane. I don't think you should accept it."

"What's the harm in a necklace? I'm not just going to throw it over the wall," Rhiane said, putting the necklace on.

Vanora sighed, shaking her head, "Fine, fine." She walked back into the kitchens, leaving Rhiane alone.

Rhiane looked over the opened package in attempt to find a clue as to where it came from, but instead she noticed there was something else inside. She pulled out a small, sheathed dagger. A piece of paper fell out and landed by her feet. She picked it up and read in bold lettering,

**JUST IN CASE**.

Rhiane stared at the note, and frowned. Just in case? Just in case of what? What could possibly happen that she would need a dagger? She had never used a dagger before. She unsheathed it from its leather casing, and glanced at the keen, shiny blade. She wondered who had sent this to her. Who ever it was, they seemed to think the dagger would come in handy. Despite what Vanora thought, Rhiane didn't think that this person wanted to hurt her so much as...protect her.

She quickly sheathed the dagger, and hurried to her room.

**And the plot thickens...  
**

**Please REVIEW!!! and please read and review Guardian Angel! I'll be updating that one soon as well. It's hard writing two fics at once, but it's fun and gives me a break. again, _REVIEW_!!!  
**


	12. The First Storm, Waiting for the Second

**Snap, it's been ages since I've updated this story, and I apologize**. **It's been crazy lately. Plus, I've been debating where to go with some events in this story, and I was kinda freaking out about it and therefore procrastinating, which is what I do best. Then I thought 'Well, if I screw up something I can go back and fix it right?' So without further to do, here's the long awaited chapter twelve!!! _REVIEW!!!_**

Chapter 12: The Message

Thunder sounded and lightening cracked overhead as rain plumetted from the darkening sky. The knights huddled around the steadily weakening fire. Galahad and Arthur kept watch from nearby.

"I can't wait to get off this island! If it's not raining, it's snowing, and if it's not snowing it's foggy!" Gawain cried.

"And that's the summer," Lancelot said, miserably.

"Rain is good. It washes all the blood away," Bors sighed.

"It doesn't do much to help the smell," Dagnoet said.

"Hey, Bors, do you plan to take Varnora and all your little bastards back home with you," Lancelot asked.

"Ah, I'm trying to avoid that decision," he sighed, "by getting killed."

The knights laughed.

"I suppose I'll take them with me."

"You'd miss them too much," Dagonet said.

"I've grown kinda fond of them. I like the little bastards."

"What about Rhiane?" Tristan asked.

"Of course she'll come, if she wants to. She's a part of the family. Vanora's awfully fond of her, as am I. Besides, what does she have here to stay for? Nothing. There's nothing for her here."

"What if she finds a nice Roman boy to marry, Bors?" Lancelot asked.

Bors scoffed, "Hardly her type. I wouldn't allow it."

"What would you allow, Bors?" Dagonet asked.

"A good, strong man that would take care of her."

"Like me," Lancelot said, smirking, "I will take good care of her. Where the bedroom is concerned you need not worry, Bors. She'll be well taken care of."

Bors chucked a rock at Lancelot's head, but he ducked safely out of it's path. Galahad gave him a swift kick to the shoulder.

"Ouch!"

"My apologies, Lancelot. My foot slipped from the stirrup. Sorry about that."

"No, pardon me, Galahad. I forgot Rhiane and I's engagement was supposed to be secret."

"You're not engaged to Rhiane." He wasn't was he?

"Well, soon to be engagement."

"Why would she ever want to marry you?"

"Amen, Galahad. Rhiane's far too good for you, Lance," Bors laughed.

"Well, Rhiane's pretty and Lancelot's pretty. If that's not a prefect foundation for holy matrimony, then I don't know what is," Dagonet joked.

"I don't think Rhiane goes that way, Dag. I do think she wants a husband, not a wife," Gawain chuckled.

"Well, Galahad, I could ask you that same question. If she won't take me, then what would cause her to choose-"

Lancelot was interrupted by the hilt of Tristan's sword colliding with his head. Lancelot hissed in pain.

"I suggest we stop talking about Rhiane," Tristan said.

"I'm afraid that will be harder to do than you think, Tristan." Arthur appeared and dismounted his steed.

"A message from the wall just came. Bors, it's from Vanora."

"Vanora?"

"Rhiane has been kidnapped."

The numb silence was swallowed by another wave of thunder that rumbled then echoed through the turbulent night.

**But wait, there's more! Stay tuned. A little cliff hanger. I might post one more chapter before I go on another short break. I'm trying to get my POTC fic done before the third movie comes out so I apologize in advance, but I WILL see this one through and finish it! I promise. **


	13. What is Best and What is Forfeit

**Wow, I am on a roll! Two chapters posted in about 24 hours! Maybe I can finish the story soon. Oh, how bitter-sweet that will be. After this chapter I might need to do some experimenting with possible situations and eventual outcomes. I'll do my best so that everyone is happy. Thanks very much to my faithful readers who have been reviewing and thanks to faithful readers who choose not to review though reviews are very much appreciated! Keep up the reviews! Cheers!**

Chapter 13: What is Best and What is Forfeit

The storm had calmed momentarily, and while a few of the knights tried to settle down for the night, others were finding that quite impossible. Bors paced in front of the fire while Arthur sat, his eyes fixed on the flames. Galahad fidgeted a few feet away, listening to Bors aimlessly rant, asking the same questions all of them were thinking.

"I mean, why would anyone-? What has Rhiane ever done to-?"

"No one said it was Rhiane who did anything to upset anyone, Bors," Arthur said.

Bors shook his head, and grumbled.

"I don't think we should be focusing so much on why rather than who," Galahad said.

"That shouldn't be too hard. There aren't that many culprits to choose from," Bors said.

"It wasn't the Romans. We know that," Arthur said.

"I wouldn't mark them off right away," Tristan joined in, taking a seat next to Arthur.

"The Romans have no motive as far as we know," Arthur said.

"As far as we know, Arthur," Galahad stated, darkly.

"Woads," Tristan suggested, "They have their motives."

"How would the have gotten through the wall to her though? Plus, that doesn't explain why they'd take Rhiane. The motives are against Rome and ourselves not her," Bors argued.

"Bors, you consider Rhiane your daughter, right? The daughter of a Sarmatian Knight would be some matter of a leverage to them, wouldn't she?"

"While that is a very good point, Tristan, let's focus on the mission at hand shall we?"

"Arthur, I don't give a rat's ass about the mission for your bloody Romans. How can you expect me to worry about some pompous, wealthy Roman family when my daughter is god knows where being held captive by god knows who?!"

"Bors, I understand, but there is nothing we can do for Rhiane until we get back to the wall."

"We can't just do nothing!"Galahad snapped, "She could be dead by the time we get back!"

Tristan grabbed Galahad by the collar and led him away from the discussion.

"You need to control yourself, pup. None of us are happy with the situation, but we can't afford to lose our heads."

"I'm going back to the wall and finding Rhiane!" Bors shouted as he stormed away from Arthur.

"I'm going with him," Galahad said, brushing Tristan hand off his shoulder and heading in the same direction Bors went.

"The Romans will have our heads if we abandon the mission. Then, you can bid your freedom a fond farewell," Tristan called after him.

"I don't care! Rhiane needs me!" Galahad shouted back.

"Whoa, there, pup. Bors isn't going anywhere and neither are you. Arthur isn't about to let him leave and I'm not about to let you, yet again, be brash and do something stupid," Tristan said, seizing the back of Galahad's tunic.

"How is that everything I do is brash and stupid?"

"Pup, your heart's in the right place, but you tend to act on impulse and don't think your actions out."

"Then what do you suggest I do?" Galahad demanded, turning to face him.

"What Arthur said. Get through this mission and then we'll figure what to do about Rhiane. It's still a few days before we arrive at the Roman's house. Plenty of time for you to get some thoughts straight."

Tristan patted him on the back and turned to leave him.

"What do you do, Tristan, when you care about someone? How do you know what to dare and what not to dare for them?" Galahad asked.

"It's hard to know, Galahad. Most people would say listen to your heart, but I question how well that works. What I do know, Galahad, is that when you do care for someone you have to give up a lot for them, and there will be times when the favor is not returned."

"I'd give it all up for Rhiane."

"I know, pup, but you have to keep in mind that you are not the only one who cares about Rhiane. You have to keep her best interests in mind at all times...even if they don't include you."

Galahad fell silent for awhile. "Is that why you're helping me? Rhiane's best interests don't include you?"

"That is one reason. I'm not the best for her. It would not be in her best interest to be with me."

"I wish I could go back and fix everything, then maybe-"

"You don't have that option. Fix it in the present."

"I'm not sure I know how."

"Then, you need to figure out how, Galahad. If fear controls your life, then your life is forfeit," Tristan said strenly.

Galahad noddded. Tristan walked off and disappeared into the night, leaving Galahad alone with his turbulent emotions.

"Then, my life is forfeit."


	14. An Interesting Discovery

Chapter 14: An Interesting Discovery

The peasants rushed to gather around the knights as they rode into the village.The guards closed the gate to the Roman estate, so Arthur had to tell them who they were. When the fat, wealthy Roman came out Arhtur explained the situation to him. The stupid git refused to leave even though it was only a matter of hours before a hoard of blood-thirsty Saxons was coming to annihilate them.

It had been almost a fortnight that Rhiane had been missing and it would take them weeks to get back especially with the Roman family in tow and the Saxons would be hot on their trail. Galahad couldn't be more on edge.

The Roman family was sent to pack.

"Let's go now, hmm?" Bors asked as reasonably as he could.

Arthur spotted an elderly man chained, and drew his sword as he walked over to him. The knights rolled their eyes as they followed their leader.

"Are from Rome?" a villager asked Bors.

"From Hell," Bors answered gruffly. He was very unhappy with the current situation as were they all.

"Who is this man?" Arthur asked a peasant.

"He's our village elder," he answered, following Arthur.

"What is his punishment for?"

There was no answer.

"Answer me!" he commanded.

"He defied our master, Marius. Most of the food we grow is sold out to sea. He said we should keep a little more for ourselves that's all," the peasant answered.

Galahad was restless and fidgetted in his saddle. He wished just for once Arthur wouldn't feel compelled to be noble and always do the right thing. They all wanted to get out of there.

Arthur freed the old man and sent the peasants to ready for the journey. Great more people to slow them down.

It had started to snow when Tristan arrived with a satus report.

"They have flanked us to the east. They have come from the south to cut off our escape. They'll be here before nightfall," Tristan reported to Arthur.

"How many?" Arthur asked.

"An entire army," Tristan said grimly.

"And the only way out is to the south?"

Tristan shook his head and said, "No, east. There is a trail heading east across the mountains. It means we would have to cross behind Saxon lines, but that is the one we should take."

He glanced around at the peasants and asked, "Arthur, who are all these people?"

"They're coming with us."

"They will never make it."

Then everything came to a stand still as the sound of drums filled the air.

Arthur noticed a small shack guards were having walled up. He drew his sword and headed over there.

"Move," he ordered the guards.

"What is this?" he demanded.

"You cannot go in there. No one goes in there. This place is forbidden," a peasant said.

"What are you doing? Stop this!" Marius ordered, but was cut off by Bors.

"Arthur, we have no time," Lancelot said sternly.

"Do you not hear the drums?" Galahad asked, becoming agitated. Tristan shot him a warning look.

Arthur had Dagonet bust through the rock wall and the door into the chamber. Arthur grabbed a torch a entered, Dagonet, Lancelot, and Gawain following him in while the others stood guard outside.

Chanting could be heard inside as they made their way down the stairs.

"Who are these defilers of the lord's temple?" a priest asked.

"Out of the way!" Lancelot ordered.

The chamber was filled with prisoners in chains or cells.

"The work of your god?" Lancelot asked disgusted, "Is this how he answers your prayers?"

"See if there are any still alive," Arthur said, ignoring Lancelot's questions.

"This one's dead," Dagonet reported as he opened a cell.

"By the smell they are all dead," Gawain stated, looking around at the decaying corpses.

Gawain walked around checking the cells for any survivors. It appeared as though they had been tortured and left to slowly die. It sent a pang of anger, pity, and repulsion through him. He was very doubtful that any still lived. But as he glanced into one of the cells, he met a very familliar pair of amber eyes.

"Rhiane?!" he breathed.


	15. Forgotten Memories and Unknown Secrets

Chapter 15: Forgotten Memories and Unknown Secrets

She looked as though she had been beaten severely. She was bruised and cut all over. Her eyes widened in fear when she saw him, and her breath became shallow and quick.

"Arthur!" Gawain cried.

Arthur rushed to his side.

"Rhiane, thank God," Arthur sighed with relief.

"Yes, thank God!," Lancelot said, appearing at Arthur's side, his words saturated with bitter sarcasm, "Your god is what probably put her here."

Lancelot cut the cell door down with one of his swords, and Gawain moved to try and pick up Rhiane. She quickly recoiled and pressed herself against the wall of the cell, her eyes big and frightened.

"Rhiane, what's wrong? It's me Gawain. You need not to be afraid anymore," Gawain reassured her.

She continued to stare at him blankly.

"What's wrong?" Lancelot asked.

"I don't think she remembers me."

"We haven't been gone that long, Gawain. Why wouldn't she-"

"Look at her, Lancelot! She looks petrified!"

"Well, with your brutish face, why wouldn't she be?" Lancelot chuckled.

"Hello, lovely, we've come to rescue you. No need to fear, your knight in shinning armor is here," Lancelot said, extending his hand to her.

She flinched away and whimpered.

"Lovely?" he asked, drawing his hand back, a look of concern on his face, "Rhiane?"

"Wh- Who are you?" she asked timidly.

"Who are we?" Lancelot repeated, astounded.

"I told you. I seriously don't think she remember us, any of us for that matter."

They looked at each other for a moment, trying to figure out an answer to this dilemma.

"Rhiane, we're friends, remember? Gawain and Lancelot?" Gawain asked.

She shook her head.

"Bors, Arthur, Tristan?"

She shook her head again.

"Galahad?"

She once again shook her head.

"Hmmm, we do have a problem."

"Gawain, grab Rhiane. We're heading out," Arthur ordered.

Gawain hesitated.

"Rhiane, I don't what they did to you, but I promise we're here to help you. You're safe now. I won't hurt you. I'm going to get you out of here. You've got to trust me."

He reached out to her again, and this time she didn't back away. He gingerly picked her up and followed Arthur and Dagonet out of that dungeon. Another girl and a little boy were also found.

"How do you know my name," she asked quietly.

"We're old friends," Gawain replied.

"I don't remember ever meeting you before in my life."

"I know."

Rhiane clung to him and hid her face into his shoulder as they emerged out of the darkness and outside into the snowy light. Gawain was relieved that Rhiane was found, but was very concerned about Rhiane not remembering anything. He was nervous about Galahad's reaction. Maybe it would be better for Galahad not to see her until she was better. Bors deserved to know though.

Gawain avoided the other knights as he came outside, but motioned for Bors to come over as he set her gently on the ground.

"What is it?" he asked.

Gawain showed Rhiane to him.

"Rhiane!" he gasped seizing her in a strong embrace.

She struggled against him.

"Rhiane, what's wrong?"

"Bors, she doesn't remember anything. She didn't remember me or Lancelot either."

"What the bloody hell did they do to her!?" Bors roared.

"Bors, shhhh! Look, I don't know, but don't make a scene," Gawain begged as everyone's attention turned to them.

"I'll make a bloody scene out of it if I bloody want to! Answer me, Roman! What did you do to her?!" he yelled, pointing his blade at Marius.

"Bors," Arthur said, attempting to calm him.

"Rhiane?" Galahad asked, noticing her behind Gawain and immediately dismounting his horse.

Gawain rushed to keep him away.

"Rhiane! Gawain, what are you doing?" Galahad asked desperately, as he struggled against Gawain's restraint.

"Galahad, just trust me."

"What are you talking about? Let me see her."

Tristan dismounted and rushed to her side. She screamed and scrambled backward, away from him. Tristan looked at Gawain, confused.

"Well, that's a pleasant side affect," Galahad muttered under his breath, breaking Gawain's hold on him and walking towards Rhiane.

"Galahad-" Gawain started to protest.

Rhiane flinched and shielded herself as Galahad reached out to her.

"Rhiane?" he asked, hurt.

"Take her to the carriage," Arthur ordered.

Tristan moved to her, but she whimpered and flung herself at Gawain. He picked her up, and carried her towards the carriage, Galahad right on his heels.

"What happened to her? Why doesn't she-?"

"We don't know, Galahad."

They arrived at the carriage and Gawain laid her in a pile of furs. She passed out from exhustion and Gawain didn't blame her. She probably didn't get any sleep in that hell hole she had been in.

"So, she doesn't remember anything?" Tristan asked Gawain, appearing out of nowhere.

"I don't think so. She's been through a lot though. Maybe rest is all she needs," Gawain said hopefully.

With a nod, Tristan started back to the others, pulling a reluctant Galahad with him. He put a hand on Galahad's shoulder.

"She'll be okay, pup."

Gawain turned to follow them, but Lancelot came over.

"So, she remembers none of us," Lancelot said, "Does she even remember what happened to her, how she got here, or who-?"

"I don't know, but there's nothing we can really do until she does," Gawain said glumly.

Gawain left to go back to the knights. Lancelot remained gazing over at a sleeping Rhiane.

"Ah, lovely, what did they do to you?" he whispered as he took one of the furs to cover her up.

He turned to leave, but something on Rhiane's leg caught his eye. He quickly made sure she was sound asleep before he gently lifted her dress a bit to examine it better.

It was three blue rings tatooed around her leg. He quickly dropped the skirt in shock. Blue markings? Rhiane was a woad? He shook his head in disbelief and turned to return to the other knights.

**KEEP UP THE REVIEWS! and if you haven't already, take a look at SEA OF HEARTS and review it too, please...: gives puppy dog face:. I LUV you!**


	16. Over the Mountains

**I apologize I haven't written in...forever...like a year for this story! Things have been... eh... Anywayz long story short... I have returned! This is if you all will still have me. I now present to you the long long long long long long awaited chapter sixteen!**

Chapter 16: Over the Mountains

Snow wafted down from the cold grey skies as the caravan made its way up the mountain. Lancelot pulled his cloak tighter around him. He stayed close to the carriage; occasionally glancing through the wooden bars to see if Rhiane was stirring. So far, no such luck. She remained still. He was tempted to go in and make sure she was not dead, but Tristan was in there now, examining her.

"I don't know, Tristan. They all burn," Dagonet said, gesturing to Rhiane and the two others that had been rescued from Marius' keep. One was a girl maybe slightly older than Rhiane and the other was a boy with curly blond hair.

Tristan touched Rhiane's forehead lightly with the back of his hand. Sure enough, it was as if he were touching hot coals. Her breathing was still a bit shallow and she occasionally whimpered in her sleep.

"We're moving too slow. The girl's not going to make it and neither is the boy. The family we can protect, but we're wasting our time with all these people," Lancelot's voice said from outside, "If the Saxons find us, we will have to fight."

"Then save your anger for them," Arthur retorted, "We're not leaving them, Lancelot."

"Is this Rome's quest or Arthur's?" Lancelot asked.

Tristan held his hand on Rhiane's face and took her hand in the other. He glanced over at the girl and the small boy. They'd make it; as would Rhiane. That is, if the Saxons didn't catch up with them. They were moving too slow, but it was impossible to pick up the pace with so many people. It would've been easier to have just taken the Roman family and Rhiane, but Arthur's great nobility and integrity surpassed all other judgement or opinion on the subject. The knights would follow Arthur to death if he so led there. The chances of them making it back to Hadrian's Wall with all these people alive were small, if they were even existant.

As Tristan let his hand slide down the side of Rhiane's face, back to the nape of her neck, he felt the many cuts and burns she had received during her inprisonment. Anger welled up inside of him like a flood as his hand trailed along a burn that started behind her left ear and wrapped around her shoulder. Nothing would be standing in the way of his sword and the fat pompus Roman's neck, but the bloody enticement wasn't enough to remove him from her side. He remained where he knelt; whistfully wishing and waiting for her amber eyes to flutter open.

"Tristan, we need you to lead in front," Arthur said as he entered the carriage.

Tristan dropped Rhiane's hand and quickly stood up.

"How is she?" Arthur asked.

"She burns and she hasn't stirred since we left," he answered stoically.

Arthur nodded as he turned his attention towards the other girl. With one last glance back at Rhiane's cataleptic form, Tristan exited the carriage; leaving his emotions behind him.

"Would you hold still for just a moment?" Gawain snapped as Galahad twisted and twitched in his sadle.

Galahad attempted to gain composure, but found himself shaking worse than before. It's cause could easily be mistaken to be from the cold. He kept glancing back over his shoulder at the carriage, then a intermittent glare at Gawain for making him ride towards the front of the caravan. Tristan was back there, why couldn't he be? Periodically, he would try to fall behind and inch closer to the carriage, but if Gawain didn't catch him, Bors would appear, blocking his escape route. He wanted to see Rhiane, but everyone was keeping him away from her. The image of Rhiane's fear-filled eyes and the way she had withdrew from him continued to plague his thoughts. The reins were so tightly wound around his hands and wrists, they were starting to cut into them as well as cutting off cirrculation. He didn't care; hardly even felt it. He felt ill, and his mask of disconcernment wasn't fooling anyone.

Tristan rode up towards the front; Galahad's eyes following him. With a quick glance at Gawain, he rode up to join him.

Tristan didn't acknowledge Galahad's presence as he came up along side him.

"How is she?" Galahad asked.

Tristan repeated the same answer he had given Arthur with the same absence of emotion, "She burns and she hasn't stirred since we left."

"When will she wake up do you suppose?"

"I don't know."

"And her memory?"

"There's no way of telling how she lost it."

"But when will she get it back?"

"I don't know, Galahad."

Silence fell between them. Galahad clentched his jaw, but he fought letting the frustration control him.

Then with his voice dropping to almost a whisper he asked, "What if she's scared of me forever? What if she never gets her memory back, Tristan? What if she never remembers me... or you?"

"At least she's still alive, Galahad," Tristan snapped as he turned to join where Arthur and the other knights had gathered on the side of the trail.

"We'll camp here," Arthur announced, "Take cover in those trees."

Tristan avoided Galahad's pained looks and fought hard to conceal his own.

"Tristan..." Arthur addressed him.

Tristan turned to his hawk, "Ready to go out again? Yeah."

It chripped as he tipped its beak up, and flew off his arm and soared above the trail with Tristan following.


	17. What Eyes Do Not See

**I apologize for not updating in...years. Though I had long since stopped updating, I still got reviews, many more than anything else I had written. This story has received so much love, and after so many pleas to continue I feel I must. It seem I should very much finish what I started and I give you my promise I will. So, what had happened to Rhiane? Time to find out with an _Italicized _flashback_. _I hope you all enjoy and I apologize again_._**

**Love, The Commodore**

Chapter 17: What Eyes Do Not See

_Rhiane tossed and turned. Sleep wouldn't come. She didn't expect it too. It seemed she hadn't been able to sleep in weeks. She couldn't fall asleep, and when she did, her dreams were dark and haunted. She sat up and stared into the darkness. She felt as though she was waiting for something. But for what?_

_Where was Galahad? And Tristan. Bors. Her hand rested upon the ruby around her neck. Where was the one who gave her this? __She got up and carefully removed the dagger from underneath her pillow. _

_The night air was warm and still. Everything was quiet. The smell of rain lingered in the air. She loved it. Yet, she felt very much alone. Moments like this she allowed herself to wistfully imagine Galahad coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Sometimes it would almost feel real, only to look back and see nothing but the empty night around her. Galahad was far beyond her sight now. She couldn't even be sure if he was alive. Her stomach churned as she thought of their fight. She shouldn't have let him leave on such bad terms...she shouldn't have told him how she felt. Better he had died not knowing than to die thinking she played him or even hated him. And Tristan...she had been cross with him too. There was nothing she could do now but wait and hope they both return. _

_She stared up at the sky. Should couldn't help but wonder if Galahad was looking up at the night sky from wherever he was. Was he thinking of her? Tristan was probably looking up at the sky. The stars twinkled down at her. She bitterly thought of the way Galahad's eyes twinkled when he laughed. She scowled at the stars for reminding her of such things. No matter how hard she tried he wouldn't leave her thoughts. Where was he? When would he be back? Would he be back?_

_"The sky holds many answers, but none of which you seek," said a voice behind her._

_Rhiane jumped as she whipped around. _

_An elderly looking man in tattered brown robes stood a ways behind her. He carried a wooden staff and his skin covered in blue markings. He was a woad. She backed away, reaching for the dagger in her belt._

_"There is no need for alarm. I don't mean you harm."_

_"Who are you?" she demanded._

_"I have many names, but the one you will know is Merlin."_

_"How did you get - "_

_"These walls are not nearly as protected as you think."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"There are many things I want, but none of which matter at the moment. The question should really be directed towards you."_

_"What do I want? You want to know what I want?"_

_Merlin nodded._

_Rhiane was caught off gaurd. She could name a few things she wanted, but none of which she was going to tell him._

_"You have lived in these walls since you were brought here. Did you ever once wonder where it was you came from?"_

_She hesitated before nodding. Of course she had. It was a thought that plagued her to this very day._

_"I can show you," he said offering his hand._

_She slowly approached him, searching for some sign of a trap. Sensing no betrayal she blindly took the old man hand._

_"Very well," he said smiling. "But now you must forgive me."_

_Rhiane didn't have time to question before she was struck by Merlin's staff and fell into __unconsciousness._

* * *

_When Rhiane woke she was surrounded by trees. It had to be late morning by now as sunlight streaked through the leaves. For not knowing where she was, Rhiane was strangely calm. This place felt safe and familiar. _

_"Where am I?" she asked aloud._

_"Home."_

_Rhiane looked to find Merlin with two other men and a girl. _

_"This is where your life began," Merlin continued, "in these very trees. You and Guinevere spent sunrises to sunsets playing among their branches." He motioned to the girl. She looked to be not much older than Rhiane. She had long dark hair and serious dark eyes. She seemed to be surveying Rhiane with the utmost skepticism._

_Rhiane said nothing as she continued to look around._

_"Guinevere, why don't you show Rhiane around," Merlin said, "There are things I must discuss with the council."_

_Guinevere stepped forward in what appeared to be a reluctant manner. She grabbed Rhiane's arm and led her toward what seemed to be the woad village. Rhiane stared around in wonder._

_"I was a woad?" _

_Guinevere's eyes flashed. _

_"You are a Britain," she corrected. "One of us, or at least you were until you were taken in to the Romans."_

_"How did I...get to the Romans?" Rhiane asked hesitantly._

_"They killed your parents," Guinevere answered bluntly, "for some reason they spared your life and took you to the wall."_

_Rhiane felt a new found hatred for the Romans surge through her._

_"You don't remember any of this, do you?" Guinevere asked in a more gentle tone._

_Rhiane shook her head slowly. _

_"You were young. Young enough that the Romans didn't think of you as a threat. Yet you became close with the Knights of the wall?"_

_"Yes," she answered shakily, "I was practically raised by one of them."_

_Silence fell between them for a moment before Rhiane asked, "We were friends?"_

_Guinevere nodded, and what looked like a small smile flitted on her lips._

_"Merlin intends for you to stay here," she said slowly, "You cannot go back to the wall."_

_"What?" Rhiane breathed. "But I have to! The Knights will be returning soon -"_

_"The Knights will be leaving soon. They passed through our wood not two days ago on their way north. What reason will you have to stay at the wall when they leave?"_

_Rhiane didn't answer though they both knew what it was. Nothing. But Vanora and Bors...Arthur, Dagonet, Gawain, Lancelot...Tristan...Galahad... _

_"You are here now. Where you belong," she said placing a hand on Rhiane's shoulder. "If you are in doubt, look at your leg. You have our mark."_

_Rhiane lifted the hem of her dress to reveal the three blue rings around her leg that she had had ever since she could remember._

* * *

_Sleep didn't come to Rhiane there either. She wandered aimlessly among the trees. Her mind digesting all the new information and her heart beating around her knights. She saw a fire by which Merlin and the two other woad men sat talking in low, concerned tones. Rhiane journeyed a bit closer just to where she could make out what they were saying._

_"Artorius and his Knights were never our enemy. Rome is our enemy," Merlin said._

_"What makes you think Artorius and his Knights will stay?" one of the men asked._

_"Artorius will not leave the land to slaughter by the Saxons, and his Knights will not abandon him. Their loyalty runs deep."_

_"What would make them agree to an alliance with us? They've killed our people, Merlin."_

_Merlin smiled. _

_The man who'd been silent the entire time looked up. "The girl from the wall? She may have been born in our land, Merlin, but she was raised by Romans."_

_Merlin shook his head. "She was raised by a Knight and a woman of our land. The Knights are very fond of her and will distress at her absence."_

_"So the girl is merely leverage?"_

_Merlin shook his head again. "She needs to know who she is. She must bring them understanding by understanding herself. She is one of us. She is a part of this land. The Saxon threat effects her as well."_

_Rhiane backed away from the meeting. She wandered back to the place she awoke that morning. She sat on the ground and placed her hands in the soil. She had always felt connected to the land. She had never once questioned that. Was it really that much of a surprise she was a woad? They were not the bloodthirsty demons the Romans and sometime the Knights made them out to be. In fact they were much like the Knights themselves, their land and freedom taken by Rome. But what would they think of her? _

_"Love is blind." Merlin had found her. _

_"It was you, wasn't it?" she asked fingering the ruby pendant, "You're the one who sent me this."_

_"Love does not see pacts, races, countries, flesh, or bone," he continued kneeling in front of her, "It sees what eyes do not. It sees spirit."_

_Rhiane looked down at the ground. Vanora would still accept her, but would they. _

_"Humans are blind," Merlin said taking her hand. "We cannot see that we are connected. We are the same."_

_Rhiane shook her head as she felt tears sting her eyes. _

_Merlin took out a blade and made a small cut in her palm, then cut his own. They watched as red blood trickled out of both wounds._

_"The same," Merlin whispered. _

_She forced her eyes away from the blood and into Merlin's. He smiled grimly._

_"What eyes do not see."_

* * *

Rhiane opened her eyes with a start.


	18. Marks

**Commodore's Note: Keeping to my promise! :) If there are any Harry Potter fans who like this story...would you mind also taking a look at my story Beyond the Map? That would be fantastic! And as always a reminder / plea to REVIEW!!!**

Chapter 18: Marks

Rhiane groaned as she attempted to sit up. She gasped as the sharp pains in her torso forced her back down.

"It's about time you came around," the girl on the opposite wall of the carriage said, "They've been fussing over you for two days."

Rhiane looked at her, confused. Where was she? Why was she here? Who was this girl and who are _they_?

"You still don't remember? They had said you weren't remembering."

The girl came over to sit next to her.

"You're Rhiane. I'm Guinevere. We are childhood friends. Your parents were killed by Romans, you were taken away from your people to Hadrian's Wall, and grew up around the Sarmatian Knights. You were brought back to us by our leader, Merlin. We set out to find the Knights, but were captured and tortured by Romans. The Knights found us. We're on our way to the Wall now with the Saxons tracking us."

Rhiane's head started to spin more than it already was. Romans, Knights, and Saxons...it was all too much to comprehend. And this Guinevere said she couldn't remember all this... she had once known all this and all these people? Rhiane looked down at herself. She appeared to be in clean clothes and bandages. The thing that caught her eye though was three blue rings around her leg.

"A mark of our people," Guinevere said, watching her, "Arthur said that trauma from the dungeon could have tampered with your memory. It might come back."

"And what if it doesn't?"

Guinevere gave a small, but sad smile.

"Arthur?" her voice craoked as though she hadn't used it in a whlie, but somewhere in the back of her mind that name meant something.

"Leader of the Knights from the Wall."

"Rhiane?"

A large man had entered the carriage. He rushed over to them.

"Praise the gods you're awake! How are you feeling?"

"She doesn't remember anything if that's what you're asking," Guinevere said grimly.

"Still?" He looked at her with concerned eyes. "Do you know who I am?"

Rhiane shook her head.

He sighed. His worried face was forced into a smile. "I'm Dagonet. You're safe now and that's all that matters. We're taking you home now."

"Her home is with us. That is where she belongs," Guinevere said severely, "with us."

Dagonet didn't press the matter. "Arthur and Bors will need to know you're awake." He stood and left.

* * *

Lancelot shifted uneasily in his saddle. They'd be stoppinge to make camp soon. He'd rather wish they didn't. The Saxons were gaining on them. Soon they'd have to confront them, a confrontation he would like to avoid if he could. Somewhere in the very distance, the very faint sound of drums could be heard. They were still far enough behind to not pose immediate threat, but close enough to put all the knights on edge. Arthur pressed the caravan on, as if he didn't hear it. Gawain exchanged a dark look with Lancelot. Soon they'd have to face the Saxons.

Dagonet galloped up towards the front to Arthur.

"Rhiane's awake. Still no memory. I'm still unsure about the extent of her injuries," Dagonet reported breathlessly.

"Tristan will be back soon and can examine her," Arthur said, "Where's Bors?"

Gawain and Lancelot quickly glanced at each other before Lancelot went to search for Bors and Gawain for Galahad.

Galahad was more towards the back of the caravan. He hadn't slept in days and was now starting to look it. There was hardly any color to his face and dark circles now loomed underneath his unusually dull, lifeless eyes. His youth and passion seemed to have been drained leaving behind an aged and worn outer shell of the man he once was. Gawain suspected it was his worry over Rhiane causing so much disruption.

"Galahad!"

Galahad looked up wearily, his eyes dead and as overcast as the sky above.

"Galahad, great news, Dagonet just -"

"The Saxons are going to catch us," he interrupted hoarsely.

Gawain couldn't argue with that. "Then we will have to fight."

"What's there to fight for anymore, Gawain? We were supposed to be free men by now." He swayed dangerously in his saddle as though about to collapse. Gawain caught his shoulder to steady him.

"Galahad, Rhiane's awake," said Gawain urgently, trying to keep Galahad on his horse. "She still doesn't remember anything, but she's awake now."

This time when Galahad looked up at Gawain there was a renewed spark in his eyes, a spark that Gawain had not seen in days.

"Awake?" he croaked.

"Yes," Gawain said smiling. "You see, Galahad, there's your reason to fight."

"Awake," Galahad repeated in disbelief. A very faint almost smile flickered across his tired face.

"But I wouldn't go to her yet," said Gawain warningly, "She's still very much confused. We're trying not to overwhelm her."

"No," Galahad agreed, shaking his head. "I shouldn't see her. I just wish I knew what had happened to her. But she's awake!"

Gawain smiled.

Then Galahad's brow furrowed. "Does Tristan know?"

Gawain shook his head. "Not yet. He's not back yet."

* * *

Bors burst into the carriage. "Where is she?"

"Bors!" Lancelot called, entering in after him.

"Rhiane," Bors gasped as he spotted her and seized her in an embrace.

Rhiane gave a little whimper as her whole body tensed up in pain.

"Bors," Dagonet said assisting Lancelot in pulling him away from Rhiane.

"She still has no memory," Lancelot said stepping between him and Rhiane. "None of you, none of Arthur, none of any of us."

"What did they do to her?" Bors growled.

"We still don't know because, believe it or not, she doesn't remember," Lancelot said impatiently.

"It was the bloody Romans though."

"We don't know," Lancelot repeated. "And until Rhiane can tell us or unless you wish to ask the Romans themselves -"

"I don't need to ask them, Lancelot. I'll pound them into a bloody pulp."

"Bors," Dagonet said in a let's-be-reasonable tone as he helped Rhiane back to her cot.

"When's Tristan getting back? She still looks a bloody mess with all these bandages and all black and blue," said Bors surveying Rhiane with a mixture of worry and anger.

"Soon, I hope," Dagonet said. "The boy still burns." He glanced down concernedly at a small boy with tons of yellow hair who was still sleeping.

"Come on, Bors, Rhiane needs to rest," Dagonet said as he started to usher Bors out.

"She's been sleeping for two days. How much more rest can she get?" Bors argued, but didn't put up a fight as he and Dagonet left the carriage.

"Bors?" Rhiane asked as the name triggered some form of recollection.

"Has been worried about you for weeks," said Lancelot. "You've had us all worried, lovely." He smiled at her.

"Why?" she asked earnestly.

"You've been around us for fifteen years, pet. We've kind of grown fond of you. Bors is practically your father."

"Father? But my parents are dead," said Rhiane, looking over at Guinevere who was glaring at Lancelot.

"He may not be your actual father, but he did practically raise you. And he loves you as any daughter of his."

Guinevere shook her head as she stood to move to the front of the carriage.

"Why does she hate you so?" Rhiane asked nodding towards Guinevere's retreating form.

"She is a Woad," Lancelot said darkly as he sat beside her. "The Woads hate the Romans, understandably so. But with that, they hate us. They're untrustworthy savages."

"I'm a Woad."

"No," Lancelot said shaking his head.

"I have their mark," she said lifting the hem of her dress to reveal the three blue rings around her leg.

Lancelot eyed them grimly. When he had first seen them after Rhiane's rescue fear may have struck him then, but now he just shook his head.

"No," he repeated. "You are one of us."

"But," she tried to argue, placing a hand on the tattoo.

"Our mark is one that cannot be seen." He took her hand and placed it over her own heart. "It's within you."

Something echoed inside Rhiane's mind that she did not intend to actually come out. "What eyes cannot see."

"Exactly," said Lancelot nodding.

"No," Rhiane said shaking her head, her hand fumbling anxiously with the pendant around her neck.

Lancelot stared at her confused.

"Someone once told me that," she explained. "At least, I think so. I don't know who and I don't know what about. Maybe it was just a dream. That often happens, doesn't it? Confusion between dreams and life?"

"Of course," Lancelot said, "Sometimes they are one and the same." He stood to leave, but before he could reach the door -

"Do you have dreams?"

"Everyone has dreams."

"But do _you_?"

Lancelot hesitated before answering, his back still to her. "I have nightmares."

"Me too."

He glanced over his shoulder back at her. She now hugged her knees to her, eyes downcast, still fondling the blood-red pendant.

"Get some rest, Rhiane. No nightmares will haunt you here while we stand guard."

She looked up. "What about you?"

He smiled. "I'll be fine."

With that he left the carriage back into the blustering cold.


	19. In Dreams

**Commodore's Note: Review!**

Chapter 19: In Dreams

Rhiane managed to sit up in bed without too much pain this time. "Where are you going?"

Guinevere's pale face was bathed in moonlight as she glanced back at her from the doorway.

"Merlin wishes to speak with me."

"Merlin? Is that that man you keep mentioning? Should I come with you?"

"No," Guinevere said a bit more harshly than she had intended. Then more softly, "You should stay."

"Wouldn't he want to see me to?"

"_They're_ more likely to notice if you're gone. If Merlin wishes to see you, I shall come for you."

"But if he is truly as all-knowing as you have claimed, maybe he'd know how I could re-remember all these things I'm supposed to know."

"We have other things to worry about, Rhiane," she said, the harshness returning in her voice.

"You have no idea what it's like!" Rhiane cried, "To not remember anything? To have everyone else know you better than you do. To tell you who you are."

Guinevere eyes pierced through her. "If there's something Merlin can do, I will come for you, but do not linger on hope."

Rhiane sighed miserably, rubbing the slight ach in her chest.

"Sleep, Rhiane." With that she left.

Rhiane sat there for a moment, debating whether to follow her anyway. Before she could make her decision, she heard the creak of the carriage door opening again. She quickly lay back down, wincing in pain, and tried to pretend to be asleep. She was almost positive the person was a man. The quiet footsteps were heavier than Guinevere's, but lighter than Dagonet's, stealthier than Bors', and more cautious than Lancelot's.

* * *

Galahad couldn't sleep. Then again, he hadn't been able to sleep since leaving Hadrian's Wall. He tossed and turned in vain attempts to get comfortable. Finally, in defeat, he got up and walked around camp. The carriage caught his eye. He stood there hesitating, knowing he shouldn't even consider it. He knew what he had said to Gawain about keeping his distance, but it was Rhiane. He just wanted to see her. Just once. _A look that's all. No harm in that. _

Upon approaching the carriage, he met the other girl rescued from Marius' estate as she stepped out of it. Their eyes met and nothing more. As she wondered away, his eyes traveled to the carriage. He glanced around and quickly stepped inside.

It was dark save for the rays of moonlight shinning through the bars and a sole lit candle. His eyes quickly fell on Rhiane's sleeping form. He knelt beside her, and could do nothing but watch her for a moment, his heart aching. His eyes traveled over her bandaged injuries and a hate such as he had never felt washed over him. This was a bad idea. He wanted to touch her, hold her, heal her, kill the bastards who did this to her. He didn't know how long he could keep these urges at bay.

He gently pushed her hair away from her face and let his hand rest on her cheek. A faint smile flitted on his lips. He took his hand away and settled himself against the wall, just to watch over her. After a few minutes of cramped, colliding thoughts and swirling emotions, he took her hand and found himself quietly talking aloud.

"I didn't mean to say those things… what I said to you after…Tristan. I- I- was just confused. I know it was foolish. I am a fool, Rhiane. A fool. Tristan… Tristan is not. Tristan... is a good man. Everything I wish I could be. I always wanted to be the man you deserved," he squeezed her hand, " Every mission, I knew I had to live… just so I could see your face. You are something to live for. I will always live for you… and die, if it comes that way. You are something to live for."

Galahad dropped his head. He felt Rhiane's hand tighten around his own. He looked up. Rhiane stirred again. A combination of fear and excitement exploded in his chest. He held his breath as he vainly waited for her eyes to open.

"Galahad!" Gawain hissed from the doorway.

Galahad didn't respond. He kept watching Rhiane wanting her to wake up, wanting her to remember.

"Galahad," Gawain whispered sternly as he crossed to Galahad and seized him up off the floor away from Rhiane. He heaved him back outside and stared at him severely. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I couldn't sleep. I had to see her, Gawain. Just once."

"Well, you've done that now. Now it's time to go get some rest."

"I can't. I can't sleep." He sat down, head in his hands.

"Try," said Gawain sitting next to him.

"You don't think I have?" Galahad asked looking up. Then he shook his head. "No. I will find no rest until I'm a free man. Until Rhiane is safe."

"She _is_ safe," Gawain argued.

"No," he said running his hands angrily through his hair, "Not with the Saxons so close behind."

Gawain put a hand on his shoulder. "Nothing's going to happen to her." It was hard to keep the doubt from infiltrating his voice. Fact was, the Saxons were close behind, and they greatly outnumbered the Knights.

They sat in silence for a moment before Galahad said something that he never would have thought he would. "I wish Tristan was here."

Gawain nodded then stood. "Come, try to sleep."

Galahad gave up fighting and followed Gawain obediently, chancing a glance back at the carriage.

Rhiane lay still for a moment before daring to sit up again. She wasn't entirely sure what just happened or who that was. She wanted to know though, and her eyes watered slightly as she tried to remember anything she could. Tristan. These names and voices and faces, they were all familiar in some way, but the memories, the context in which they all fitted…it was all gone. She waited another moment before leaving the cot and grabbing a cloak.

* * *

Guinevere walked cautiously. She didn't have to wait long before she heard a voice through the trees.

"The Saxons are close." Merlin appeared out of the darkness looking grave.

"The knights are hoping to avoid confrontation. They wish to make it to the Wall before they fight."

"They won't be able to avoid it for long," he said. "You must try to convince Artorius to fight for Britain."

"I don't know if I can," she said crossing her arms.

"Bring him to me."

Guinevere looked horrified at the suggestion.

"He will not hurt me, nor I him. We have too much of a need for each other. Even if he does not see it."

Guinevere turned to leave but stopped. "What of Rhiane? She remembers nothing."

"She is where she needs to be."

"But she doesn't remember – "

"She will be fine, Guinevere. Her role in this has already begun. Bring Arthur."

* * *

Rhiane could see her breath. She pulled the cloak closer to her as she glanced around. Where had Guinevere gone?

"What are you doing up, lovely?" a voice asked.

Lancelot sat against a tree while a fire blazed in front of him. The heat felt nice on her face as she sat next to him.

"You should be sleeping," he said as he tucked what looked to be a lion amulet away under his armor.

"What do you have nightmares about?" she asked.

He looked at her quizzically, slightly taken aback by the question.

She sighed. "I've been having dreams, but they seem more like nightmares…more like memories."

"Memories?"

"At least, I think that's what they are," she said slowly, "They fell much too real to be dreams."

"What were they about?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It was all so fast," her brow furrowed as she fought to remember the details, "There was a wall."

"Hadrian's Wall," Lancelot said with a lack of enthusiasm.

"There was a fire."

"In the fifteen years I've been on the wretched isle there have been many fires."

"And swords…and then there was singing… and yelling. Someone was angry –"

"You'd see a lot of that at the tavern."

"– at me…"

"Why was someone angry with you?"

"I don't know," she said quietly, "I had lied to him, I guess."

"Him?" Lancelot asked cautiously, "About what?"

"I don't' know," her voice strained, "but I felt scared. I didn't want him to be angry with me. He was hurt, and I was the cause. All he wanted was his freedom and he had lost it…I can't remember."

Lancelot glanced over at the flickering flames of the fire on the other side of camp where he knew Galahad was.

"There was a hawk. He was mad at the hawk too."

Lancelot didn't say anything.

"You never answered my question," she said.

"My nightmares are little more than a cage. A cage and shackles from which I will never be free. And when I return home, it will not benot but smoldering ash and the shackles will still be chained around my feet," he said solemnly.

"I do not think you are in a cage," Rhiane said thoughtfully. "You are a brave knight. What more honor is there than that?"

"There is no honor in it. I am not fighting for a cause of my choosing. I have murdered for a people not of my own. I am a pawn played by lesser men. They care nothing for my life and I care nothing of theirs," he growled bitterly, "This is not who I am."

"At least you remember who you are," she said quietly.

Lancelot fell silent.

She sighed as she laid her head on her arms. "I just wish I could remember."


End file.
